On Taking Instruction From A Cartoon Dog
It’s time to talk about Bluey (Part I)
This is a newsletter about children’s television, so we obviously have to talk about Bluey.
If you really have been living under a rock for the last five years, Bluey is the animated story of a family of talking dogs that live in Brisbane. But it is far, far more than that. Bluey, Australia’s biggest cultural export since Kylie. Bluey, beloved of people who don’t even have children. Bluey, the most streamed show in the world right now. Bluey, which is so popular there’s even the beginnings of a backlash, because we live in a silver age, and nothing can just be good and popular forever.
There are two huge red flags in front of writing this, about this, fluttering like the balloon in ‘Mum School’.
Firstly: what can I say that hasn’t already been said? Everyone from the NYT to Grazia has had a crack. There are even podcasts about it, including this one I listened to in an effort to understand ‘Bad Mood’ – I still don’t really know which parenting lesson one is meant to take from it. Great podcast, though, onya.
Secondly: writing about Bluey is basically a case of marginal gains, because it only takes seven minutes to watch an episode for yourself. It’s the opposite of why it’s useful and interesting to read the incredibly long reviews of biographies of 1930s socialites in the London Review of Books. Yeah, the review is 6,000 words long, but the author read a solid 1200 pages and skips all the boring bits about by-elections and inheritance disputes in favour of the salacious details of their secret gay double life. It’s a great investment of one’s time. But you could watch one Bluey, if not two, in the time it’ll take you to read this. So I want to thank you for taking the time. Also, your hair looks nice today 😘
We should probably start with the 28-minute special, ‘The Sign,’ which recently aired all over the world and sent the internet into a frenzy. If you haven’t seen Bluey, absolutely don’t start with this one – it’s a veritable cornucopia of Easter Eggs and story arc resolutions. If you are new to Bluey, I’m also going to tell you my five favourite Bluey episodes, so you can start with them. Screw your eyes up and scroll for four paragraphs to get to that bit, if you want to avoid reading about ‘The Sign’.
The Sign
(Spoilers abound below)
I liked ‘The Sign’ - I thought it did what it did very well. My husband – let’s call him Pete, because that’s his name – WhatsApped me in the middle of an extremely long, very twin-filled, journey back from Normandy (thanks Southern trains), to suggest a viewing party on arrival. We weren’t disappointed; the police chase is genuinely hilarious, the wedding is suitably epic, and plot points galore are resolved.
What has split the internet (or at least the bloggers having opinions on Bluey, which thanks to writing this newsletter, the algorithm now loves to show me) is whether the ending is OK. In an eleventh-hour reprieve, the family don’t end up selling their house – the dream ending every child wants when parents talk about moving.
People are upset because normally Joe Brumm and his team show us that transitions can be difficult, life lessons have to be learned, change is good etc. etc. - but this time, they don’t. The Heelers end up staying put until retirement, while newlyweds Rad and Frisky cancel their plans to leave town. And do you know what? I think that’s fair enough. Comfort zones are comfortable, after all. As adults, sometimes we change and grow, sometimes we stand around in our pyjamas absent-mindedly eating pavlova out of the fridge. It is OK to stand still. Not every day has to be a hashtag growth mindset experience.
Also, there’s a bonus bonus, ‘Surprise’, which popped up worldwide on Sunday morning. It perfectly sums up the trickier aspects of parenting (currently at a “things getting shoved in my face” stage here, thanks). For me the biggest surprise was seeing Stuart Heritage – known round these parts as the author of Jonathan the Magic Pony and a Guardian regular – in the credits. But the bit the internet has taken and run with is who is the father of Bluey’s child (if it is Bluey’s child?) that we see at the end? Think I’m probably Team McKenzie, but, as the LRB reviews have taught me, you can never rule out a secret dalliance with a French bulldog in Monaco.
My Favourite Episodes (most of which made me cry)
Dad Baby
‘Dad Baby’ caused a stir when it came out because Disney+ wouldn’t – and still won’t – show it. That’s a pity, because it’s seven of the finest minutes of comedy you’ll see anywhere, ever. In the episode, Bluey’s sister Bingo finds her old baby sling (which we also glimpse in ‘Baby Race’), her dad Bandit wears it, she climbs in, gets stuck, and has to be “delivered” by their neighbour Lucky’s dad in a paddling pool.
Prior to watching it, I’d never really understood why men instinctively cover their bits when they see a character get whacked in the nads on-screen. But watching ‘Dad Baby,’ I genuinely thought I was having Braxton-Hicks Contractions again. I know, they sound like they supported The Fratellis on tour, but it’s an actual womb thing.
Watching Bingo repeatedly kick Bandit in the stomach, steal his dim sum, and then get stuck is quite simply the best and funniest depiction of pregnancy I’ve ever seen on television. It also gives Pat, my favourite character in the Blueyverse, his time to shine. Go on, Bob Iger, let America have this. They’ve got the worst election in living memory coming up, they need to lighten the mood.
Flat Pack
The Heeler sisters recount the entirety of human evolution while their parents work through that classic marriage-challenger: building something from IKEA. Contains the canonical line "I'm not taking advice from a cartoon dog," when we all do just that these days. At the end the girls pretend to be all grown up and go off into the world/space. No, I’m not welling up while typing this, you are.
Quiet Game
Bandit, Bluey and Bingo are dispatched to the toy shop to buy a “Moonlight Unicorn” (a thinly-disguised My Little Pony) for the girls’ cousin, Muffin. However, the girls are playing The Quiet Game and won't use words to tell Bandit which one to get. Alfie, on his first day at work, helps interpret the girls' miming. Alfie is voiced by Steve Irwin’s son – further proof that Bluey could only be more Australian if the ghost of Shane Warne presented you with a Tim Tam when you sit down to watch it.
I love this episode principally because I have a considerable collection of My Little Ponies. It used to be a much larger collection, but about a decade ago David Cameron (twat) decided he’d had enough of people living abroad ✨simply not paying✨their student loans, so I had to liquidate a lot of assets quickly, and sold most of them. Sorry, Copper Glow.
The vast array of Moonlight Unicorns perfectly encapsulates the essence of MLP: that they’re sooo similar and yet soooo pretty, sparkly, cute and very collectible. I stopped buying new ponies in the aughts, when Hasbro decided to endlessly re-release the same “Mane Six” ponies over and over again. You can tell that Joe Brumm has spent a lot of time looking at a vast wall of small plastic horses, wondering which one is Pinkie Pie, when so many of them are pink. For this, I have nothing but respect, 10/10 dadding. They also slip in a lovely pastiche of silent movies. Hard recommend.
The Sleepover
Muffin is coming for a sleepover… but she’s skipped her nap. Absolutely nails the nap-dropping era. (So glad this is behind us; anyone in the process of it, keep going. If you have twins, don’t hesitate put them down separately, or wake one up before the other, to adjust the afternoon nap, it is so much easier than doing two separate bedtimes). It also nails getting home at the end of a long night out, including the inevitable detour via the chip shop/kebab van, and contains Bingo doing the “boyfriend” voice... just watch it, babe.
Cricket
Hang on, this is getting way too long. What is this, the LRB? Let’s split this in two and talk about Rusty, the Gabba, and my time training with the Belgian women’s cricket squad next week. In the meantime, if you want to share your favourite episode, the comments are below (and if you want to subscribe, even better).